The writer who doesn’t write

Episode 4

Image bt Henrik Moses

I once wrote a Medium article titled “Learning English Saved My Life,” where I expanded on how my ability to read in English allowed me to access books and resources that were crucial to me, especially during a time when there was a severe lack of sources to turn to.

I passed my fall and winter exams with average grades — not too good, but not too bad either. However, the spring finals were on a completely different level of difficulty. As senior high students, we faced nationwide exams, which meant the teachers couldn’t adjust the questions to match the actual knowledge level of their students. It felt incredibly unfair, especially for students in smaller towns like mine. Our schools and teachers simply didn’t compare to the high-end institutions in the capital city or other major counties, where educators were highly qualified, and the syllabi were far more comprehensive and advanced.

I was so stressed that my brain had skipped the fight-or-flight stages entirely and plunged straight into freeze mode. I felt utterly confused and clueless, as if my mind had shut down. All I could do was sink further into a whirlpool of depression. To put it bluntly, I was in dire straits.

My urge to attend school diminished even further as I watched my classmates confidently preparing to ace the tests. I had never…