The writer who doesn’t write

Episode 3

Image by Henrik Moses

As read in the previous part, I was herded into math despite my lack of interest, and it felt like I had no choice but to follow the path laid out for me. I ditched school in favor of studying my language class materials and self-studying, eager to progress more quickly on the path I had already chosen — passionately and unconsciously, of course — for my future. And that’s when my troubles at school began.

Day by day, school lessons became more and more difficult and time-consuming, and so did my growing obsession with English and literature. I had been drawn to poetry and literature ever since I was a little girl, and now the spark beneath the ashes was flaring up again, burning even brighter with each passing day. I began cutting classes, focusing entirely on my passion — knowing that it was putting me at risk of being expelled. To justify my absences, I needed serious excuses, and that’s when my subconscious mind came to my rescue.

I started getting sick every week, with no apparent reason. I was the only school-aged child in the family at that time, and my parents struggled to get me up and send me to school each day. Every morning, right when I was supposed to leave, my entire body would go numb, to the point where I could hardly move. I didn’t understand why this was happening. It wasn’t a deliberate plot, but something I…