Stop self-disclosure! you will get hurt!

Adele Aava
4 min readAug 14, 2022

1. An anecdote

There was once a man, a merchant, who was very accomplished and made great profits. Once in a trade, he was deceived and got swindled out of a big fortune. He called his son and told him:

“ Please keep this a secret and never tell a soul about it.”

“ I won’t father; I promise!” said the son. “ but do tell me, what is the philosophy behind this?”

The father replied: “ If you tell anyone about this, the loss will be twofold; loss of money and peoples’ condemnation.”

2. The moral

In my first year of immigration, I faced a lot of challenges; obstacle after obstacle, trouble after trouble, and I had to confront all of it alone, all on my own.

It was the first time I went abroad, my first time ever; I was young, scared, inexperienced, and quite intimidated once the plane touched down. No one was waiting for me, no fixed place for me to settle down, no familiarity with the country’s language and culture, and it was even my first time ever to reside somewhere alone.

It might sound crazy and imprudent, but I had my own reasons for that. Maybe it was some sky-diving trick, to push the person at two, because if you waited to count to three, the fear would get the better of them and they would refuse to jump.

How I survived all the hardships that year is a long story that does not fit here; however, one related highlight is when things did not go as planned, my work as a freelancer did not pay much- if at all ( I had been depressed and homesick and some physical illness occurred and I could not work as persistently as required), my visa case for the next destination was closed, I had to file a new case, which meant paying all the filing fees again, I ate into my savings to survive and the end of the current residence lease was the final nail in the coffin!

I was no fan of oversharing, for I had been taught my lesson that talking to others about my problems wouldn’t do me any good; however, I was so careworn and overburdened at the time, that I unknowingly started letting others in what was going on in my life.

Adele Aava

Author, translator, singer and voice trainer, serving food for thought and desserts for fun.